A Nice Cool Cup of Raph
by Tewi
Summary: Michelangelo has a theory and April is there to listen. ... And maybe join in. -Thanks to Tori for her help. Oneshot.-


Tewi,

Ack, almost forgot about this. A ways back there was some serious discussion going on at SS. Being me of course I quickly turned it a bit goofy for a while when I misunderstood something the wonderful Tori said and jumped to the conclusion that she was comparing Raph to milk. Being as cool as she is she sent me some ways that Raph _could_ be like milk and this little story emerged, sitting in my head waiting to be written. So, here you go.

Disclaimer: Must we go through this every time? I. Don't. Own. Them. Though many of you are probably happy about this. ;) Also, all ideas of why Raph is like milk are courtesy of Tori. All of them.

&

It was relatively quiet in one Ms. O'Neil's kitchen. Which was a bit odd since she had she had the company of one Hamato Michelangelo. It was a nice break for April though, as she had time to process all the things Mikey had just rambled on to her. Mikey was looking at her innocently, patiently waiting for her reply. April just sat, a bit dumbstruck, trying to come up with something to say. Finally, she managed to stutter out a reply.

"…Raph…is like…milk…?"

"Yep! He's _a lot_ like milk. If you think about it, I mean."

"Mikey…"

"Yes?" Mikey blinked innocently.

"…Are you…are you okay?"

"Mmm? Oh, perfectly fine. Never been better."

There was another long silence, Mikey grinning like a fool. "So…Raph's like milk, huh?" April sat patiently across from the orange banded turtle, wondering if she was going to get any kind of answer any time soon. Not that she really wanted to know how Mikey had come to that conclusion.

"He is ya know. I really thought about this. It makes a lotta sense. I mean, for one, he builds strong bones…and teeth! Has the guy ever hit'chya? Okay, I know he hasn't. But if he did…you'd know. I heard somewhere that some monk guys or something hit their own legs and stuff to toughen up their bones. Raph does that for us. Mostly me – and the Foot, and Purple Dragons, I guess."

April stared at the turtle – who had apparently lost his mind – across from her, and blinked. Quite a few times. Her mouth opened as if to give a reply, but no sound came. The redhead closed her mouth, then opened it again. Mikey laughed, and April settled for closing her mouth and giving up on a reply. The gaze that clearly said, 'why did I let this crazy ninja into my home,' never left Michelangelo, though.

"Come on Ape! You know it makes sense. And the strong bones thing isn't all! He also doesn't freeze well, just like milk. You've seen the guy in the cold. He goes all-" and here Mikey started to use his deep announcer-like voice "-I am Hulk Hogan Superman Manly Turtle Guy!" April finally let out a short laugh. This conversation was absolutely ridiculous.

Mikey knew he was on a roll now. He had gotten a giggle from April, and to him this was leave to continue on his quest to convince April that Raphael was indeed like milk. He did switch back to his normal voice though. "Seriously, the guy cannot stand the cold. He'll do anything to get out of it. Remember that one time-"

"That he gave me a heart attack?"

"He does that a lot, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but suddenly stepping off a roof, pretending like he's falling-"

"Okay, that _was_ pretty heart attacky-"

"Pretty?"

"Okay, definitely."

"…You got that right."

"So anyway. You do remember that one time-"

"And if I ever see any of you guys try that again…"

"I think you've threatened us enough for that, Ape."

"And yet you guys still haven't promised **not** to do that again."

"Hey, only Raph did that. Don't lump us all with Milk Man!"

"Yeah bu- … milk man? Have you called him that yet? Because I can't wait to see it when you do."

"Thanks for all your support. And it's not just milk man," Michelangelo over exaggerated a plain dull voice, "it's Milk Man," he switched back to his deep announcer voice.

"My bad," April replied dryly.

"Yes, it is." The youngest turtle gave a big smile. "But, as I was saying. Raph is like milk."

"You still haven't convinced me."

"No worries, I will! What did I say already?"

"Umm…he builds strong bones and doesn't freeze well."

"Oh, yeah! Okay," at this point Mikey pulled a crumpled up paper out of his belt.

April raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "You wrote it all down?"

"I was brainstorming. Didn't want to forget any of my geniusocity."

"If that was a word."

"Whatever. Oh yeah! My hotheaded brother is also like milk because he goes sour when you leave him in the fridge for too long."

"Mikey…how would you even know that?"

"Well…there _was_ this one time-"

"Nevermind," April's slender hands shot up to cover her ears, "I definitely _don't_ want to know."

Mikey snorted. "Yeah, you probably don't. Raph'd probably kill me. The memory haunts him to this day," the nunchuck wielding turtle smiled something evil, weird fridge memories resurfacing.

"Just tell me the next one."

"Okie-dokie. Hmm, well, some people are allergic to him."

"Some people…are allergic to him?" She sighed. "I don't know why I still let myself be surprised by you, Mikey."

"Aww, don't take that away from me! It's what makes me…me."

"Sure Mikey. Are you going to explain that last one?"

"Hey, people have turtle allergies, ya know!"

"…I suppose so. You got any more?"

"Yep! He makes people sleepy."

April couldn't help herself. "Especially when he's hot." Her grin matched Mikey's.

Mikey let out a snort of laughter, sure he had flipped April to his side. And with her on his side he could soon convince his brother's…or maybe he didn't want to do that. "Umm…" Mikey's mind raced, searching for something to add. The list ended there. Aha! "When you add him to eggs and scramble the two, it makes them light and fluffy!"

April laughed, this time a full laugh, not a small little chuckle. "He does like eggs. And you seem to make scrambled a lot…" April searched her mind. Mikey beat her to another reason.

"Ooh, ooh! And he comes in skim, 2, whole, and chocolate."

"Well, I suppose when he's injured he's skim, or 2, and when he's all healed, he's whole. And he's chocolate when…when he's with my alone. Very sweet."

April and Mikey went back and forth, words flying across the table. Mikey would come up with – only slightly ridiculous, of course – reasons why Raph is like milk, and April coming up with why they made sense – and all the reasons, of course, made just as much sense as the comparisons.

Just a short two hours later there was a knock at the window. April didn't have to get up to let the other turtles in. Really, they just knocked to be polite and warn her. April and Mikey had stopped coming up with comparisons about half hour, or so, ago. Their giggles had subsided only a few minutes ago, and a comfortable silence hung over the kitchen as the other brother's entered. Unfortunately for the silence, Raph came through first.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

Michelangelo and April O'Neil lost it.

"What?"

Unfortunately for the hotheaded turtle no answer came forth – unless you count the in between words that seemed random coming from the two gasping people. A scowl crossed Raphael's face as Don stepped through the window. He raised an eye ridge at the pair at the table, but glancing at Raph, deduced he wouldn't really be getting any answers. As soon as Don was through Leo was sliding through and shutting the window behind him. He too looked down at the two in hysterics, and let out a sigh.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. They were laughing before I came in."

"All I said was hi and they burst out laughing."

Since Mikey was busy busting a gut Don felt he had to take his place. "Maybe it was your face."

Raph held up a friendly fist. "Should we just leave him here?" Raph's tone was just a little too happy.

Leo smiled and shook his head, "we'll drag him away if we have to." Raph grinned quite evilly. "IF he's still laughing like this in an hour, Raph! We're not really in a hurry, you know."

Raph's face fell. "Fine…"

Don was about to make himself some coffee when April and Mikey's laughter finally subsided. "We're okay guys. I can go now."

"Finally," Raph muttered, not really angry.

Leo nodded, "we should take a small patrol. Take the long way home." The other's nodded their agreement. Leo gave April a small wave and hopped out, followed by Don who gave her the smile that so easily came when he saw her. Raph glanced at the two, declared them oddballs – but used a different word – under his breath and had one leg out when April finally came up with a reason of her own why Raph could be like milk.

"He also goes well with Oreo's," she proudly proclaimed, glad to have come up with her own reason.

Mikey burst out laughing again and Raph was forced to give out a growl, grab Mikey, and drag both of them out the window. April burst back into her own laughter as she heard Mikey's brother's exclamations. Raph had left with his hands full, so her window was still open. She walked to the counter below the window and let her eyes follow four shadows in the night, nimbly leaping across buildings and flipping over alleyways. She leaned onto the counter and sighed happily.

"Reeeeaaaal well with Oreo's," she softly spoke to herself, a delicate smile crossing her lips, as if she knew a secret no one else did.

&

Okay, pretty short, but I'm fairly happy with it. Hope the end gets the feeling/message across I was going for. Feel free to tell me what you think, other ways in which Raph could be like milk, concrit – definitely, and…hi. I would mucho appreciate it!

And once again, a big, huge thanks to Tori for her ideas! Everybody say it now: THANK YOU, TORI!


End file.
